Channel 4 News League Recap, Week 13.

The four teams at the top have clinched playoff spots, the three at the bottom are more or less out of it, and the five in the middle are fighting over the last two.

*1. I Roll w Chris Henry 9-4-0 .692 1575.80
*2. Pennsyltucky Power! 9-4-0 .692 1360.36
*3. Jazz Fluties 8-5-0 .615 1358.36
*4. I Love Lamp 8-5-0 .615 1254.96
5. Brady’s F*ck Trophy 7-6-0 .538 1542.20
6. Haywood Jablome 7-6-0 .538 1280.18
7. The Rainmakers 6-7-0 .462 1485.64
8. SupremeSilverSharpie 6-7-0 .462 1421.62
9. Das Smoot 6-7-0 .462 1358.12
10. Bad Newz Kennels 5-8-0 .385 1305.88
11. Benoit’s Day Care 4-9-0 .308 1311.98
12. Smoot’s Fingercuffs 3-10-0 .231 1178.18

Brady’s Fuck Trophy 137.74, The Rainmakers 129.36 – In any three game losing streak, you have to have players who don’t produce their usual, expected stats. This week, it was Marques Colston and Wes Welker (!) who let me down despite Peyton Manning’s 35 point day. OMDQ won thanks to a surprising 19 points from WR Roddy White and 21 big ones from Willis McGahee.

Supreme Silver Sharpie 120.06, Bad Newz Kennels 81.06 – Big Ben and Hines Ward provide a third of TSW’s point total as Carson Palmer and the rest of the Kennels are all bark and no bite again this week.

Pennsyltucky Power! 136.76, Das Smoot 101.56 – Peter’s winning streak was nice while it lasted, but RUTS busted it up due to strong games from Kurt Warner, Braylon Edwards, Earnest Graham, hell, anyone who wasn’t Antonio Gates. It didn’t help Peter that both Santonio Holmes and Marshawn Lynch were out.

I Roll W/ Chris Henry 122.76, I Love Lamp 77.30 – I’m probably going to call this right now: AA has locked up a playoff spot for his Lamp, but he’s gonna get beat in the first round of the playoffs next week. He only had 2 starters (Jon Kitna and the Oakland D) score points in double digits.

Benoit’s Day Care 134.06, Jazz Fluties 113.52 – Big-time work in 20+ point games for Derek Anderson, Justin “Huggy Bear Jr.” Fargas, and Leon Washington gets the Day Care the win over the Fluties. Despite this, Extra P. has a playoff spot while the Fieldhouse will probably be sitting it out no matter what.

Haywood Jablome 106.46, Smoot’s Fingercuffs 92.50 – Ted keeps surviving via the Romo to T.O. connection while Zach appears to be stuck at the bottom yet again.

This Week’s Matchups:

• The Fingercuffs take on Das Smoot, who’s still hoping for a playoff spot.
• Haywood looks to hold on to its 6th spot by beating on the Lamp.
• The Sharpie will have to beat Chris Henry’s entourage to even have a shot.
• Brady’s Fuck Trophy and Pennsyltucky’s finest duke it out for a sport and/or position
• The Rainmakers need to beat the Fluties and get help.
• Benoit’s Day Care and the Kennels are battling for pride in the bottom third.