Death Comes In The Night On Little Cat’s Feet

Eventually, someone’s going to follow Andrew W.K.’s lead after making a song based off the ramblings of the McLaughlin Group, but for now, the original will do. (Hat tip: Idolator).

Next up: Fall Out Boy writing its next hit in tribute to Tim Russert.

This Will Make Your Brain Explode

Because love requires a huge showdown with its medieval-looking enemies, and the best soundtrack to a power-metal style fantasia video is dance-pop with a completely androgynous man.

Thank you, Janie. And thank you, Chris Dane Owens. You are the new Genius of Love. You went insane when you took cocaine.

This Is The Dumbest Review I’ve Ever Seen And I’ve Not Seen The Movie Yet

Someone captured the video of Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith on First Take debating how good The Dark Knight was, and Fire Joe Morgan has it, along with some notes.

Now, I’m going to go see it either tomorrow or the day after — but despite the possibility that Maggie Gyllenhaal sucks in this movie (Katie Holmes was a waste of space in Batman Begins, but that’s half her fault and half the nature of the film — the “tail” parts in superhero movies are rarely ever more than one-dimensional) — but even I could tell you that Smith’s statement about getting Halle Berry, Sanaa Lathan, or Gabrielle Union in as Batman’s love interest is quite possibly one of the more ridiculous pieces of movie criticism I’ve heard.

Not that the “we need more African American actresses in serious, high-profile roles” thing is dumb or incorrect, but considering that Gyllenhaal is playing an already established character who is white because of the casting of a prior actress, it would be a bit silly to increase Rachel Dawes’ (that’s the character’s name, right?) melanin content between films.

This hurts because I kind of like Stephen A., especially when he hands Bayless his contrarian ass on the show, but keep the both of them away from talking about anything in pop culture, please.

That There Is The Result Of Some SEC Wind Speed

Orson Swindle was at the Georgia Dome when Mother Nature decided that having a Crimson Tide in Atlanta was not enough and thus decided to create another form of disaster of her own during the SEC tournament. It is all chronicled in a series of posts over at the Sporting Blog — and Orson left us a video at EDSBS of one particular instance at the Georgia World Congress Center.

I’m so totally surfing the indoor waterfall.

Cheap Shots #119

Got stories, links, etc.? Send to s2nblog@gmail.com.

10:15 AM

Oklahoma City Hoodlums, Huh?: Some OKC denizens aren’t exactly using the most kind words in talking about the possibility of an NBA team coming to town. [Sports Media Watch]

Insert Jorts Joke Here: Orson releases the first of a series of posts on college football fans based off of the site Stuff White People Like, taking on Florida fans first. [EDSBS]

————————-

More Baseball/Illegal Drugs Ish: Federal investigators are looking into a Nor-Cal doctor who’s accused of writing scrips for patients illegally, including the Cardinals’ Troy Glaus and the Mets’ Scott Schoeneweis. [New York Times]

John Daly’s Drunkeness Is Getting In The Way: So sayeth former coach Butch Harmon. Is anyone shocked? [AP/L.A. Times]

Butler, WKU, Oral Roberts Lock Up NCAA Bids: They’re all the latest to win their conferences, most logic dictates that Butler is the only one you’ll likely be penning in to get past the first round. At least the Big Red mascot will be hanging around. [ESPN]

The Big Ten Networks Sucks, Edition Infinity: Unless you’ve got it, you won’t be seeing some tournament games — but considering some of the match-ups, that may be a good thing…. [The Meaningful Collateral]

Why Cuban’s “No Bloggers In The Locker Room” Policy Makes No Sense: Funny that it’s coming from Mark Cuban, of all owners. [True Hoop]

Complaint Against Randy Moss Thrown Out: The domestic violence case and restraining order was dumped by the woman who filed it. [Boston Globe]

Laura Ingraham Says Something Completely Idiotic: Film at 11, I know, but this manages to piss off Packer fans — she called Brett Favre a woman for crying during his retirement announcement. [100% Injury Rate]

Beckett Likely Not Turning Japanese: Red Sox ace will probably miss the season opener abroad due to back issues. [Boston Globe]

Carolina Receiver Not Named Steve Smith Arrested: Dwayne Jarrett, busted and accused of DUI. [Sports by Brooks]

Pitino, Former UK Players All About The Dunkin’: The Louisville coach will be opening 17 Dunkin’ Donuts with Jamal Mashburn and Walter McCarty. [You Been Blinded]

When A Verbal Apology Just Isn’t Enough.

Scene: New York City, in the offices above Tiffany & Co.’s store on Broadway. One of the company’s executives sits in his office, evaluating designs for its newest collection, when the phone rings.

Receptionist: Mr. Lamont, there’s a call waiting for you regarding an Elite Account.
Lamont: Entertainer, politician, or athlete?
Receptionist: Athlete, sir.
Lamont: References?
Receptionist: Codes provided by the NFL’s offices, usually given to their higher-profile players. Plays in Baltimore, name of Steven McNair.
Lamont: Put him through, Anne.
Receptionist: Yes, Mr. Lamont.

(Soft click, as lines patched through.)

Lamont: Hello, Mr. McNair. How can I be of service to you today?
Steve McNair: I was hoping you could help with a gift selection, Mr. Lamont. I thought of coming into the store, but I figured it might be better to do this over the phone.
Lamont: Understood. We keep Elite Accounts completely private, no surprises. Is there a particular order you’re looking into? Mother, wife, or girlfriend?
McNair: What?
Lamont: It’s easier to evaluate what you’re looking for if I know the nature of the relationship.
McNair: Um….wife.
Lamont: Appreciation or apology?
McNair: Apology. I may need one in advance, even though none of the stuff being floated in the papers is remotely true, y’know?
Lamont: You’ve called the right man. We’ve assisted high-profile men such as yourself when they find themselves either directly involved with or implicated in…delicate situations.
McNair: So, how much money should I be looking into here?
Lamont: Depends. We have the A-Rod level, which is $10,000+ — very popular, and if extremely necessary, there is the Kobe level — $500,000 and up per piece.
McNair: Neither level’s really appropriate. Anything in the 5-10K range?
Lamont: Plenty, at least as far as necklaces go. Rings, not as much. We’ll send along the catalog with those levels immediately, Mr. McNair. Give my assistant a call when you receive it and she’ll guide you through the process.
McNair: Wonderful. Thanks again, Mr. Lamont.
Lamont: We do what we can. I’d advise you set up an account with us in the future — keep a bit of it on hand in case something more…serious should happen.
McNair: I’ll take it under advisement.

END.

(Thanks to the Big Lead for inspiring the idea. Odd tidbit that came across while semi-researching: Tiffany & Co. designed both the Lombardi Trophy and the current NASCAR trophy that goes to the Nextel Cup winner.)

They Don’t Sell iPods in Indianapolis?

Apparently not, because then this whole fake crowd noise would never have been noticed:

RCA Dome PA operators: your system likely has these things called AUX inputs, it’s how you plug in devices that are not connected to the system or part of it in and of itself. A Shuffle runs you about $99, I believe, or it may be less now that Apple is slashing prices on the older technology quickly. Take that disc and dump it in the computer, export, and upload. Five minutes saves a lot of embarrassment regarding your legendary crowd noise inside the dome.

There’s no excuse for being cheap shits and not expensing that stuff. The best part is how Nantz and Simms ignored it as if it didn’t happen at all.

UPDATE: CBS says the error came from them over the telecast, it wasn’t anything in the stadium.