News League Recap, Week 13

avantwestbrook

We have now hit the end of the regular season. Please celebrate the six teams that made the playoffs.

*1. Area Man 10-3-0 .769 1290.60 W-6
*2. Twisted Fister 8-5-0 .615 1256.75 L-1
*3. APIAS FTW 2.0 8-5-0 .615 1187.75 W-1
*4. Monday Night Jihadis 7-6-0 .538 1175.03 W-1
*5. Pyle of List 7-6-0 .538 1150.12 L-1
*6. Matt Jones’ Yayo 7-6-0 .538 1134.67 W-2
7. Kellen Me Softly 5-8-0 .385 1155.20 L-1
8. Why So Jerious? 5-8-0 .385 1143.56 W-1
9. Chocolate Squirrels 5-8-0 .385 1076.86 L-2
10. TSW 3-10-0 .231 1088.55 L-6

I’d like to thank the four that missed, because they were good sports and I think everyone had fun. Let’s get to how we got here this week, huh.

Area Man 96.09, Kellen Me Softly 87.61 – Marco capped an absolutely remarkable six game winning streak to end the regular season by beating his STF counterpart and co-editor Eric.  His support? Mostly a 32 point performance from DeAngelo Williams for Carolina, and some double digit ones, whereas Eric’s only major help was Jets RB Thomas Jones and his 20+.

APIAS FTW 2.0 75.23, Twisted Fister 68.02 – The Goldfish Cowboy took a slim victory for the Pudge Crew thanks to a 19 point defensive effort by Houston on Monday night. However, the win wasn’t enough to snatch a first round bye from RUTS and the Fister, who coasts in with a 70 point differential.

Monday Night Jihadis 134.15, Chocolate Squirrels 105.84 – OMDQ put up a great fight, with nearly 30 points from Steve Slaton, 25 from Bernard Berrian and 25 from Rob Bironas.  But getting single digits from Brett Favre, Reggie Wayne, and Randy Moss wasn’t going to cut it — not when I had eight TDs scored by players on Thursday games alone (three passes from Tony Romo, two rushing TDs each for LenDale White and Chris Johnson against the helpless Lions.)  It could have been worse, OMDQ, because I pulled the boner benching of the week — Brian Westbrook and his 4 TDs sat, and I believe I’ve covered how mad this made me.

Matt Jones’ Yayo 111.32, TSW 88.86 – AA heads right in with the last seed in the playoffs thanks to Donovan McNabb’s 4 TDs, Tennessee’s humiliation of the Lions’ offense, and 20 points from Purple Jesus.  In a fitting end to a season that ended on a 6-game losing streak, TSW only got good performances out of her homer Steelers.

Why So Jerious? 85.88, Pyle of List 69.29 – The Pyle guys coughed up the 4 slot thanks to a complete shitting of the bed by anyone not named Larry Johnson or Greg Jennings.  This allowed Oops Pow to go out on a high note with a victory largely thanks to Baltimore’s defense.

Now, we have a bye week for Marco and RUTS, while the other four duke it out starting Thursday:

1) APIAS FTW 2.0 (#3) takes on Matt Jones’ Yayo (#6) – The Pudge boys took the victory over AA the first time around; can AA wreak vengeance and an upset? That may all depend on just how well Donovan McNabb plays against the Giants. By Yahoo predictions of players in the line-up, the Yayo is prime for the upset.

2) Monday Night Jihadis (#4) vs. Pyle of List (#5) – Earlier in the season, the List took me out.  This is about as closely matched as you can get; Pyle has the WR edge and a quarterback with an easier matchup, and I’ve got the slight edge in RBs.  Fun.

2 Responses

  1. I just read that paragraph again (I think I’m just going to refer to it as “Paragraph Two” from now on). Still impressed. If I don’t use “twatwaffle” in a sentence at least once before I die, my life will have been a failure.

  2. If you ever met my friends in real life, OMDQ, they would tell you that I am perfectly capable of uttering that exact sequence of words if I were pissed off enough.

    I’ve not decided whether this is a good or bad thing.

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