Things You Can Only Shrug Your Head At Sometimes

cutlersnowcapI didn’t catch a whole lot of both college or pro football this weekend, being in the throes of transit and being social. For this, I will have to blame The Starter Wife and her groom for throwing a fabulous wedding (I had no idea the Henson studio courtyard could be rented out), and then Holly, J-Money, and Clare for being wonderful, lively company.

Thus, here are the few things I noted while my eyes were actually on a TV this weekend:

1) The AFC West officially took the title of suck from the NFC West on Sunday.  There’s no excuse for making JaMarcus Russell look like a competent QB at this point, Broncos. There really isn’t. The bigger problem is that if Jay Cutler doesn’t get cracking in the first quarter, it’s really done for them.  A scoreless game in Mile High at the end of the first quarter doesn’t bode well for a timing-based offense like that. Holly declared this NFL season the equivalent of last year’s Bat Country college football scenario as I shook my head at the score.

2) Of course, the Chargers are defying every expectation by being offensively deficient at bad times, and when they actually are working, they go up against teams like hte Colts that can exploit the Bolts’ defensive lapses.  I listened to this one on the radio and could even see Norv shrugging and/or getting mad at the refs. I really do wonder: after reading the vote of confidence piece on Turner from GM A.J. Smith, at what point does he get fired?

3) When I think of 400+ yard passing games back to back, I certainly don’t think of Matt Cassel. He and Caoch Hobo will find a way into the playoffs — whom they step over is anyone’s guess.

4) If there is a benevolent football god out there, He will keep the Super Bowl from being an all-NY affair. The slurping of Brett Favre after knocking off the last unbeaten is growing to a fever pitch.

5) The only decided schematic advantage Charlie Weis brought to Notre Dame was in regard to the buffet table.  He’d be out on the street if not for that disgustingly high buyout. Now, watch USC run up the score on him this Saturday — because Pete Carroll needs the style points for an at-large BCS bid. (I am not delusional enough to suggest Oregon State will lose to Oregon.)

6) I spent the better part of Saturday afternoon refreshing Yahoo box scores for the Cal Poly-Wisconsin game, and if not for the kicking game….eh, he’s just a kid, like everyone else, but three extra points missed? Still, it was amazing to observe, and I’ve got my playoff ticket for this Saturday, hosting Weber State in the first round.

7) 8-8 will probably win both the AFC West and NFC North, which makes me sympathize with the “over my dead body” crowd when it comes to a D-IA playoff in college football a little. Parity has its limits.

8) Florida, you are no longer allowed to schedule I-AA teams. Same for any other SEC team. Go play a road non-conference game, please.

9) No one at the wedding really felt like they were missing anything when Holly checked the score and Oklahoma was destroying the Pirate Academy by a wide margin.

10) Les Miles has to be spending some of his nights awake, wondering if he would be leading the SEC West if Ryan Perrilloux wasn’t such a fuck-up.

11) Ole Miss is probably going to win a bowl game under the Mad Scientist, Houston Nutt. He will run any play out of any cockamamie formation if he thinks it has the slightest chance of working.

12) I’ve now convinced myself that Kurt Warner is a cybernetic wonder, rebuilt by the NFL to spurn the advance of a serial fornicator and white baby-daddy like Matt Leinart to a prominent starting job. Seriously. You don’t think he’s at least been cybernetically enhanced? He never used to wear gloves when he was playing with the Rams and the Giants. Now he’s sporting the two-glove look. I know he’s hiding cyber-implants in his hands. I know it.

13) I’ve seen him on TV a million times now and I still think Jevan Snead ought to be black, even after I saw his daddy Jaylon rocking one hell of a ‘stache. Hell, Jaylon, Jevan — it’s like another division of Bill Simmons’ Reggie Cleveland All-Stars.


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