Last week: 9-5. Season: 56-46. Home teams in CAPS, as usual. I will be at Awful Announcing for part of tomorrow and all of Sunday. Thank deity it’s a bye week for the Broncos.
RAVENS (-7) over Raiders – I don’t even think a team that’s gone from the West Coast to the East Coast has even covered, much less won. Don’t expect that to start here.
PANTHERS (-4) over Cardinals – These teams actually seem to make a fairly decent reflection of each other. Obey the West Coast Rule and then take Jake Delhomme over Kurt Warner, for good matter.
Buccaneers (+2) over COWBOYS – No Romo, more Brad Johnson standing still, more Brad Johnson on his back after linebackers sack him.
Redskins (-7.5) over LIONS – Yes, Washington has decided to play down into close games or upsets the past two weeks, but the Rams are dangerous now under Jim Haslett (while the Browns close one is harder to explain.) The Lions are the Lions, they still suck.
Bills (-1.5) over DOLPHINS – The blueprint on stopping the Wildcat is pretty clear, and the Bills are a good defensive team.
Rams (+7) over PATRIOTS – New England wins by a field goal or 4 points; I smell letdown game after Monday. Or maybe that’s just the petty Broncos fan I am.
Chargers (-3) over SAINTS – New Orleans shouldn’t have to give up a home game to play in London. The problem: if the Bolts have trouble going to the Eastern time zone, how bad will it be going to London? Eh, the Saints have to go through it too, and they’re too damn banged up.
JETS (-12.5) over Chiefs – No Larry Johnson, and the QBs are Tyler Thigpen, Ingle Martin, and Quinn Gray. If the Jets lose to this AFC team, their fans have the right to stuff Eric Mangini with food until he explodes.
Falcons (+9) over EAGLES – Touchdown win for the Eagles, no more than 9 points. Atlanta’s looked really good against teams I wouldn’t have expected.
Bengals (+9.5) over TEXANS – Not giving Cincy a chance to win, per se, but if Houston can’t cover against Dan Fucking Orlovsky, they can’t cover against the Bengals.
JAGUARS (-7) over Browns – Phil Savage cut off his team’s nose to spite its face by suspending Kellen Winslow, and may have cut off his team’s passing game. Jacksonville will play ball control with its running-back duo.
Giants (+2.5) over STEELERS – For no other reason than the fact that the Giants have Brandon Jacobs and Derrick Ward at full strength, while the Steelers are trying to keep their running game together as Plaxico Burress returns to Pittsburgh.
49ERS (-5.5) over Seahawks – There is something so fundamentally wrong with Seattle right now that I can’t take them even against a team that just fired its head coach and has a QB with a tendency to throw INTs at the worst possible times. That’s how fucked up this NFL season is right now.
TITANS (-4) over Colts – The Peyton Variable is still there, but with an offensive line failing him, its running back out, and the defense exposed, that game against Baltimore two weeks ago looks more and more like a fluke. Hopefully Albert Haynesworth doesn’t hit him so hard he can’t make the Manning Face at least six times.