News League Recap, Week 1

Standings first:

1. Chocolate Squirrels 1-0-0 1.000 109.20 W-1
2. Twisted Fister 1-0-0 1.000 105.07 W-1
3. TSW 1-0-0 1.000 99.32 W-1
4. Matt Jones’ Yayo 1-0-0 1.000 87.57 W-1
5. APIAS FTW 2.0 1-0-0 1.000 78.63 W-1
6. Kellen Me Softly 0-1-0 .000 96.00 L-1
7. Monday Night Jihadis 0-1-0 .000 84.28 L-1
8. Pyle of List 0-1-0 .000 77.66 L-1
9. Area Man 0-1-0 .000 75.56 L-1
10. TomBradySuicideWatch 0-1-0 .000 57.05 L-1

TSW 99.32, Monday Night Jihadis 84.28 – I blame Tom Brady for getting hurt and not throwing to Wes Welker as well as Peyton Manning for being off and Dallas Clark for being hurt. Of course, this helps distract from the fact that I started LenDale White instead of Chris Johnson.  A big week one for Pittsburgh sealed her win, as TSW had Ben Roethliberger, Hines Ward, Jeff Reed, and the Steelers’ D. Homerism pays off.

Chocolate Squirrels 109.20, TomBradySuicideWatch 57.05 – ROFL House is no more after The Tragedy That Is Tom Brady’s Knee: the only starters scoring in double digits for OPS were the Baltimore D and Frank Gore. Now, OMDQ’s QB is Carson Palmer, who stunk, but making up for it with double-digit games from all his WRs and a 32-point game from Willie Parker.

Twisted Fister 105.07, Kellen Me Softly 96.00Michael Turner’s 41 point performance sealed up the win for RUTS, along with a 21-point week for Marion Barber.

APIAS FTW 2.0 78.63, Area Man 75.56 – The Pudge boys rode the arm of Drew Brees to the win with a 25-point week and 13 more from Brandon Jacobs. Closest match-up of the week, especially since Marco roped in 19+ from Reggie Bush.

Matt Jones’ Yayo 87.57, Pyle of List 77.66 – AA’s laser rocket arm in Donovan McNabb provided a quarter of his points with 27,  while Pyle only had one double-digit starter in the Chicago Bears’ defense.

This Week’s Matchups:

  • Kellen Me Softly vs. Monday Night Jihadis
  • Area Man vs. TSW
  • Twisted Fister vs. Matt Jones’ Yayo
  • Pyle of List vs. Chocolate Squirrels
  • TomBradySuicideWatch vs. APIAS FTW 2.0

2 Responses

  1. AH HA! And you mock the homerism!

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