The Shakedown, Week 2

We start off this week’s Shakedown with the genius that is Catlab making me feel like I just ingested a four-way, orange and green acid tab (thanks to the Great Barstoolio):

Top Ten:

  1. USC – not only did they play a mediocre I-A opponent in Virginia, they thrashed them. No wonder they’re now officially #1.
  2. Oklahoma – Destroyed their cupcake by a score of 50-something to 2. Yikes. Most well-balanced team that isn’t USC based off of one week.
  3. Ohio State – Beanie Wells will be sitting this one out, awaiting USC. If Ohio makes this game with OSU close, they’ll drop again.
  4. Georgia – Ate their cupcake, lost another D-lineman with an ACL. Not good — and the Dawgs might be feeling a bit under the weather when Dan LeFevour and Central Michigan come to town (not enough to lose, mind you.)
  5. Mizzou – Hm. That whole thing about a brand new defense may have been overrated. Still enough to outscore everyone.
  6. LSU – By my scales, Applachian State is probably a tougher opponent than this year’s Hawai’i squad.
  7. Florida – See #6, should thrash the U soundly.
  8. West Virginia – Pat White can throw it downfield, and throw it well.
  9. Texas – The Horns looked better than I was expecting; then again, it was Florida Atlantic, and despite the proclamations of Howard Schnellenberger, his squad couldn’t make a dent.
  10. Texas Tech – I refuse to allow Auburn entry until they show something resembling a competent offense. Despite the Pirate Academy giving up way too many points last week, they’re staying in the 10.

So Long, Suckers:

  • Clemson – At least Tommy Bowden saved us the trouble of having to care about the ACC. He had to call Nick Saban afterwards for motivational tips for his team. FAIL.
  • Virginia Tech – The Hokies play football like the Greeks play soccer: defensive, dragging, and dull in the extreme. Someone advise Frank Beamer to recruit some offensive talent.
  • Texas A&M – Mike Sherman, clearly unprepared for coaching college football once again. You’re not supposed to lose to Arkansas State.
  • Tennessee – If your running backs are averaging 5 and 7 yards a carry, one would think you would have your first-time starting QB just hand it off. But then, you are not Philip Fulmer.

Watching With Interest

  • Miami – The world needs the U to be good again. Randy Shannon has a tough task and isn’t going to win this week, but Miami has to be competitive, show some progress.
  • Notre Dame – The Epic Schadenfreude Watch begins in earnest for yet another season.
  • Stanford – Beating Oregon State is not a massive thing, but to start off like that is a good way to go for Jim Harbaugh.  Let’s see what the Trees are made of against Arizona State
  • Alabama – Saban is saying all the right things, and John Parker Wilson looked more than competent last week. Wonder how long that will last.

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