Stop Being Such A Tease, Billy Packer

Unfortunately, with the Final Four starting tomorrow, we’re gonna get more than an earful of college basketball’s cranky, smarmy old bastard Billy Packer teaming with Mr. Milquetoast himself (Jim Nantz) for what looks to be three of the most competitive games of the college basketball season (this is the bonus of all #1 seeds making it; no one can say on paper than any of these games looks like a blowout.)

Natch, USA Today’s Michael Hiestrand gives us the profile of Packer on the eve of the games — and what’s annoying is that Billy has to be such a damn tease about whether this is his last tournament or not.

Billy Packer, when asked if this NCAA men’s basketball Final Four will be his last on CBS: “Who knows?”

Please, oh please, let it go, Billy — give Raftery, Bilas, someone, anyone who really seems to like and enjoy the game — rather than rag on the selection committee for not picking your favorite ACC teams every year — the chance to call a Final Four. I don’t want someone who’s completely in the tank; criticism is nice, but at some point, when an analyst or announcer sounds like he doesn’t enjoy the job regularly, isn’t it time to say “fuck it” and move on?

That said, I did learn some bizarre things about Packer that make him seem less cranky and more like a bizarre eccentric:

  • Randomly asked more than 100 women if they’d vote for Hillary Clinton
  • Took Picasso ceramics, put them in plexiglass, and made a work desk with them
  • Played golf courses backwards (shoot from green to tee)
  • Started Richard Jewell defense fund because he was sure they had the wrong man in the Olympic bombings (they did)
  • Hired a psychic to find the murder weapon in the O.J. Simpson case

The last one is the one that really sticks out. I’m trying to imagine Billy hiring some Miss Cleo knockoff with bad head-wraps in order to find the knife, and rolling over doing so.

2 Responses

  1. S2N,

    Call me crazy, but I’ve actually enjoyed Packer this season, more so than last year. I don’t think he hates the game, he just hates the game played poorly. What separates him from Vitale is his preparation and approach, meaning he actually scouts both teams, Dickie V will always fall back on Duke and North Carolina homilies in liu of preparation. Get past his gruff demeanor and he will still enhance the game with solid analysis. I don’t need screaming and hollering to enjoy the game. But that’s just me…

  2. Des, there is something to that — although it was amusing to hear him declare Kansas the victor with plenty of time in the game to go — and then UNC made it close before KU got back to the 18-point lead.

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