Unfortunately, with the Final Four starting tomorrow, we’re gonna get more than an earful of college basketball’s cranky, smarmy old bastard Billy Packer teaming with Mr. Milquetoast himself (Jim Nantz) for what looks to be three of the most competitive games of the college basketball season (this is the bonus of all #1 seeds making it; no one can say on paper than any of these games looks like a blowout.)
Natch, USA Today’s Michael Hiestrand gives us the profile of Packer on the eve of the games — and what’s annoying is that Billy has to be such a damn tease about whether this is his last tournament or not.
Billy Packer, when asked if this NCAA men’s basketball Final Four will be his last on CBS: “Who knows?”
Please, oh please, let it go, Billy — give Raftery, Bilas, someone, anyone who really seems to like and enjoy the game — rather than rag on the selection committee for not picking your favorite ACC teams every year — the chance to call a Final Four. I don’t want someone who’s completely in the tank; criticism is nice, but at some point, when an analyst or announcer sounds like he doesn’t enjoy the job regularly, isn’t it time to say “fuck it” and move on?
That said, I did learn some bizarre things about Packer that make him seem less cranky and more like a bizarre eccentric:
- Randomly asked more than 100 women if they’d vote for Hillary Clinton
- Took Picasso ceramics, put them in plexiglass, and made a work desk with them
- Played golf courses backwards (shoot from green to tee)
- Started Richard Jewell defense fund because he was sure they had the wrong man in the Olympic bombings (they did)
- Hired a psychic to find the murder weapon in the O.J. Simpson case
The last one is the one that really sticks out. I’m trying to imagine Billy hiring some Miss Cleo knockoff with bad head-wraps in order to find the knife, and rolling over doing so.