The Shakedown, Week 13.

Right. Let’s get to this, and I’ve got to hope my hosts for Thanksgiving understand that if I don’t get to watch USC-Arizona State, the carving knife for the turkey will get more use than originally intended.  Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!

The Big Shots:

  1. LSU – In its rightful spot, but still has to deal with the possibility of Humanity Advanced lining up on the opposite side this weekend, and Les Miles’ non-denials regarding Michigan.
  2. Kansas – MAO! MAO! MAO!  The Border War is upon us. Can Kansas avoid being the sixth team to get fucked as #2?
  3. Mizzou – Fuck Tim Tebow and his gaudy stats for a 3 loss team, give Chase Daniel your Heisman frontrunning props.
  4. West Virginia – White and Slaton stand to benefit from even larger clusterfucking if the Big 12 plays itself out in the most chaotic manner (Mizzou beating KU and then losing to OU in the championship game.)
  5. Georgia – Despite having two losses, I’m pretty damned sure Stafford and Moreno could put the screws to both ASU and Ohio State.
  6. Arizona State – Again, pretty sure the Sun Devils could pull off a 2nd half comeback on the Buckeyes.
  7. Ohio State – There have to be a lot more fuck-ups for this team to smell MNC game. Enjoy Pasadena, boys.
  8. Oklahoma – Ultimate spoiler possibilities, but only if Sam Bradford is back to his non-concussed self.
  9. Virginia Tech – Only because Oregon is being quarterbacked by a member of the Leaf family right now. I sense this team will be hearing a very loud “Wahoo Wah” after being upset.
  10. Oregon – Neither Texas nor USC deserve Top 10 billing, so a depleted Ducks team must go here.

Picking and Grinning:

  • USC-Arizona State – Duh. There’s actually a Rose Bowl trip at stake here, especially if UCLA plays up to Oregon.
  • Arkansas-LSU – I really, really hope this is on TV somewhere, for obvious reasons. Give me the Tigers.
  • Boise State-Hawaii – Bye bye, Colt. I’m taking the boys in blue here.
  • VA Tech-Virginia – A sneaking suspicion that the Cavaliers will be moving on to the ACC championship.
  • Notre Dame-Stanford – Enjoy your first ever 10-loss season, Domers.
  • Oregon-UCLA – The Ducks aren’t going Rose Bowling in January, but they can seal Karl Dorrell’s fate in the actual stadium. 2nd string QB beats 4th string emergency QB.
  • Georgia-GA Tech – Mark Richt tapped into his inner asshole this year and this Dawg team will be tearing Chan Gailey’s mediocrity a new one.
  • UConn-WVU – Another Pat White showcase.
  • Florida State-Florida – I enjoy the smack talk FSU put out regarding Tebow, but it’s all talk.
  • Clemson-South Carolina – Tommy Bowden needs this game worse than the OBC. I don’t think the Cocks have enough defensively if Cullen Harper, James Davis, and C.J. Spiller are on their games.
  • Alabama-Auburn – Tuscaloosa won’t be happy when Saban blows it, or more accurately, when John Parker Wilson blows it for him, in Auburn on Saturday.
  • Mizzou-Kansas – Not that I don’t like Todd Reesing and Brandon McAnderson, but does Kansas have an answer for Jeremy Maclin and Chase Daniel? Put me in for another #2 going down on Saturday in the Border War.

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