The Shakedown, Week 11.

I realized I’d better write this before leaving for work due to Louisville vs. West Fuckin’ Virginia tonight, especially because this is the first of several hate fests for m during the season with the Trojans headed to Berkeley on Saturday.

Having Fun:

  1. Ohio State – please, oh please, someone knock them off. Spare us all the disappointment of a national championship game where they’re shown up once again. Can you do it, Zookers?
  2. LSU – Les Miles is going to fuck this up. It’s in his blood. They are not hanging on to #2.
  3. Oregon – all teams are without a loss against the ineffective Bye. Bye needs to work on its fundamentals; the defense can’t tackle for shit.
  4. Kansas – they’re rolling way too hard right now to take them over Oklahoma.
  5. Oklahoma – you’re here until Kansas loses, and that may extend until you beat them.
  6. Missouri – more consistent than the Mountaineers or anyone else in the Big East.
  7. West Virginia – roll over Louisville, please, or say goodbye to your precious BCS dreams.
  8. Arizona State – less fraudulent than Boston College. Losing to Oregon is no dishonor.
  9. Boston College – Choking at home against a down Florida State team helmed by Drew Weatherford. Shame!
  10. Georgia – By default. Hawaii’s played no one, Virginia Tech underachieves too much, Michigan does not get to make an appearance in a top 10 unless they beat OSU, and I can’t believe the AP still has USC in the top 15. I am enamored of Knowshon Moreno, though.

Junior at His Worst:

  •  Notre Dame — I urge you to keep providing Schadenfreude for the rest of us, and by selecting Jimmy Clausen to start this week against the Air Force, Weis is willing to do it.  Again, we support the efforts of yet another member of our nation’s fine service academies to take out the Catholic insurgency on its home turf.
  • Arkansas – The Houston Nutt Chronicles keep going, as the latest report has an email being sent, likely by the coach’s wife (rumored) regarding attacks on one of the Springdale Three. Now, they get the inconsistent yet deadly Tennessee team. Only Humanity Advanced can save you now. Squeal like a pig, boy!

Games That Hopefully Are On T.V. in My Area:

  • Texas A&M at Missouri — I like watching lame duck coaches get beat by destructive offenses. Chase Daniel has several hand grenades ready to toss in Dennis Franchione’s direction.
  • Arkansas at Tennessee – Not quite this week’s Hot Seat Bowl, but any game with Darren McFadden involved is a must watch now.
  • Alabama at Mississippi State – Mostly to root for Sly Croom to make a bowl game.
  • Illinois at Ohio State — Again, I like watching Rashard Mendenhall and Arrelious Benn. Illinois’ offense vs. OSU’s D.
  • Arizona State at UCLA — whether the Bruins play up to ASU or roll over dead seems to be a week-to-week thing. (I know this will be on TV here.)
  • Fresno State vs. Hawaii – Finally, some late night football from the islands, and a reason to buy a ton of food and beer on Friday night knowing you’re not leaving the house/apartment.

HATE, GLORIOUS HATE!

USC at Cal – This was supposed to be so much more at the beginning of the season, something about the game that would determine the Pac-10 winner and maybe one of the BCS title game spots. While Southern Cal has been down (and never so much as losing to Stanford), at least that was unexpected. Cal has managed its usual, predictable slide once again this year and the stakes aren’t as high as everyone thought. Regardless, I’ll take this down season if Booty and crew can limit the stupid mistakes on offense and keep the Golden Bears off the field (and also avoid keeping Karl Dorrell employed at the end of the season when hosting UCLA.)

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