If SMU Wants To Emulate the Nineties Cowboys, Here’s Your Man.

Via EDSBS, we learn that former Colorado and Northwestern football coach Gary Barnett is not content to sit on his handsomely invested buyout packages and good financial planning: he’d like to coach again, and since SMU is now looking for a coach for next season, he’d like to throw his hat in the ring.

I don’t think Jebus went far enough in the EDSBS comments by saying Barnett is so sleazy hookers wash their hands after taking his money. Barnett is so fucking skeezeball that anyone who comes in contact with him should be required to go through a complete decontamination process within a half hour.  (If Barnett can be considered Radioactive Man, then his predecessor Rick Neuheisel is Fallout Boy, and he somehow is still considered a viable coach in college football by the mentally deranged.)

“I let them know it was a job I’ve always been intrigued by,” said Barnett, who works as a television and radio analyst since accepting a $3 million settlement to step down at Colorado on Dec. 8, 2005 after a tenure filled with controversy.

“Controversy”, in this case, is code for: players with alcohol, drugs, hookers sexing up recruits, and, oh yeah, rape.  I understand that there’s been way too much calm in the Dallas area since those mid-to-late Nineties Cowboys teams and their indiscretions were making front-page news, so this is a good way to ramp it right back up to the good old, bad old days again — and if you’re concerned about another instance of the NCAA death penalty for SMU, then consider this: at least people would be talking about Southern Methodist football again.

The problem with Gary Barnett is not necessarily that he let his program get out of control. Lots of coaches do this and don’t get caught; it’s obviously a mark of bad character to allow it, but that’s not why Barnett is quite so odious. The nature of Barnett’s mendacity and sliminess has to do with a particular sort of arrogance that drove him to be somewhat less than contrite regarding the wholesale destruction of a college football program in Boulder from within.  He probably would have had another job by now had he shown a scintilla of regret or remorse (even if it was completely faked) about his tenure at CU; taking shots at his replacement less than a year in didn’t help his reputation.

I blame the CU administration for this in part — refusing to fire him until he lost the conference championship game 70-3 to a Vince Young-led Texas team on the way to a national championship was a bad idea; firing him a year earlier in the middle of the muck might have taught him to at least fake some tact.

One Response

  1. Dear S2N,

    I bet if the ‘Stangs won 3 Championships in 4 years, they wouldn’t mind a little cocaine sniffing, pot smoking, hooker fucking players here and there.

    Sincerely,

    Jerry Jones

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