The Shakedown, Week 10.

Radiate in the magic of the Velour tracksuit that emanates from Mark Mangino. Or the odor of hot dogs. I’m not sure what it might be.

Isla de Encanta:

  1. Ohio State – Was not expecting Anthony Morelli to completely shit the bed at home, and he didn’t, but the OSU offense put Penn State’s much vaunted D to shame. Why do I have to pin my best hopes on Michigan, of all schools.
  2. LSU – The marauders will head to Tuscaloosa to take on their former coach, without their vaunted back-up Ryan Perrilloux in tow, but the advantage is still theirs.
  3. Oregon – Dennis Dixon, please have your name admitted for Heisman consideration.
  4. Boston College – It’s very hard to fault a team for a comeback like that against VA Tech, but that was a game that looked bad for 55 minutes.
  5. Arizona State – Beating Cal’s no great shakes now, but taking down Oregon would be. Better hope Rudy Carpenter’s finger feels better quickly.
  6. Oklahoma – Usually, the bye doesn’t punish you, but I’ll take a Pac-10 team on the rise over a Big 12 team that occasionally lacks consistency.
  7. West Virginia – Off this week, and in control of their own fate (beat UConn and the Big East belongs to White and Slaton.)
  8. Kansas – And they still haven’t played anybody! The velour tracksuit of Mark Mangino compels you.
  9. Missouri – Gary Pinkel without a collapse? Seriously?
  10. Georgia – Yes, Florida’s defense was horrific, but that was a display worth seeing.

I’ve Been Tired:

  • South Florida – Well, that was a pleasant run, Mr. Leavitt. We’ll see you again next year.
  • Florida – Bad times in Gainesville, with no secondary to speak of and a lack of tackling skills.
  • Virginia Tech – Sean Glennon will always let you down, despite the latest one not being quite so much his fault.

Levitate Me:

  • Hawaii – Inching closer and closer to the BCS slot necessary to get to that big bowl game.
  • Tennessee – Words I never thought I’d type this year: the Vols are in control of the SEC East.
  • Connecticut – They play football in Storrs? Who knew?

Nimrod’s Sons:

  • Notre Dame – Maybe a velour tracksuit in navy blue or kelly green might endear Charlie Weis to a bit less schadenfreude….nah!
  • Nebraska – How fired is Bill Callahan after his defense coughed up a 17-3 halftime lead, including 216 yards rushing and 3 TDs by Jamaal Charles of Texas in the 4th quarter? He is so fired that Tom Osborne has Donald Trump on stand-by to deliver the announcement.
  • UCLA – Conversely, I can’t judge “how fired is Karl Dorrell?”any longer because it depends on what he does game to game. Losing to Arizona certainly wouldn’t help, only feeding the concept that a banged-up squad can’t find ways to beat the lower teams in its own conference. However, watch Dorrell either knock off Oregon or ASU or beat USC for the second straight year, and enough would be forgiven to bring him back.

Photo: AP/Matt Slocum

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