The Shakedown, Week 9: Always True To You In My Fashion.

USF cost me heavily in terms of drinks purchased at the bar — too many co-workers took Rutgers last Thursday. Consider me chastened yet again.

I channel Cole Porter for this week’s rankings.

I Get A Kick Out Of You:

  1. Ohio State – Please do me the favor of losing to Penn State so I don’t have to put you up here any more. These are guys today that women prize today, and they’re just silly gigolos.
  2. LSU – This verse I’ve started seems to me the Tin-Pantithesis of melody. Les Miles will spare you all the pain; he’ll skip the darn thing and sing the refrain. Last-second touchdowns: delectable, delirious, de-limit, deluxe, de-lovely!
  3. Boston College – Don’t you know, little fool, you never can win? Use your mentality. Wake up to the Blacksburg reality!
  4. Oregon – You took my heart and then you threw it away against Cal. We’re asking the Lord in Heaven above whether you still have a chance.
  5. Oklahoma – Re: visiting Ames — We’re sure that if we took even one sniff that would bore us terrifically too. However, that doesn’t excuse slacking against the Big 12 cellar dwellers in Iowa State.
  6. South Florida – Is that New Orleans I see or only Asbury Park? Close. It was Piscataway.
  7. Arizona State – Beating Cal? Sure. USC, Oregon, and UCLA. A fancy probably not worth thinking of.
  8. West Virginia – If you’d like to buy my wares, follow me and climb the stairs — an appetizing, young team for sale.
  9. Virginia Tech – The world has gone mad today and good’s bad today when an early loss to LSU doesn’t keep you out of the top 10 for good.
  10. Kansas – Jayhawks, I might add, do it — though this record shocks them, I know. Mangino just says, “Let’s do it. Let’s fall in love.”

Every Time We Say Goodbye:

  • South Carolina – Flying too high with these guys in the sky is my idea of nothing to do.
  • Kentucky – Here’s hoping we meet now and then. It was great fun, but it was just one of those things.

I’ve Got You Under My Skin:

  • Florida – In this insane SEC East, most would sacrifice anything come what might for the sake of having Tim Tebow near.
  • USC – Mr. Carroll, plutocrat, wants to give our cheek a pat, and if a Carroll pat means a BCS game hat, OK!

Anything Goes:

  1. Rutgers charms, and then beats West Virginia. Defense helps.
  2. Tennessee over South Carolina, as the OBC wonders if day’s night when both teams in Tennessee put one over on him in a college football season.
  3. Penn State tops OSU. It’s been that kind of a season, plus, the Nittany Lions play much, much better at home.

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