Channel 4 News League, Week 7 Recap.

1. I Roll w Chris Henry 6-1-0 .857 890.62
2. I Love Lamp 6-1-0 .857 708.96
3. The Rainmakers 5-2-0 .714 819.44
4. Bad Newz Kennels 4-3-0 .571 761.36
5. Jazz Fluties 4-3-0 .571 733.44
6. Pennsyltucky Power! 4-3-0 .571 690.32
7. Haywood Jablome 4-3-0 .571 649.36
8. Benoit’s Day Care 3-4-0 .429 681.30
9. Brady’s F*ck Trophy 2-5-0 .286 776.64
10. SupremeSilverSharpie 2-5-0 .286 735.16
11. Das Smoot 1-6-0 .143 684.36
12. Smoot’s Fingercuffs 1-6-0 .143 654.14

The Rainmakers 124.38, Smoot’s Fingercuffs 95.94 – Thanks to having Peyton back in the line-up and riding the Tom Brady gravy train via two Wes Welker touchdowns, I knock off Zach, who got only four double digit performances this week (one coming from the Dallas defense.)  Bonus from this week: Osi Umenyiora’s 16.50 against the Niners, via various sacks, fumbles, and a returned TD.

Bad Newz Kennels 73.94, Jazz Fluties 71.18 – Extra P. should be cursing David Garrard’s ankle, because not only did it cause him to lose the closest match of the week, he also lost to a team where Marco forgot that his tight end Kellen Winslow was on the bye week. Ouch. EP also had on his bench double-digit performances from Lee Evans, Kevin Jones, and Chad Pennington (rule #1: always start skill players against the Bengals D.)

Pennsyltucky Power! 71.28, Haywood Jablome 68.58 – RUTS also had his tight end (Antonio Gates) on the bye, but it wound up not mattering because Ted had several players just not show up offensively (Todd Heap, Matt Jones, Warrick Dunn, Marvin Harrison.)  Ted also wins this week’s Bad Benching award for leaving the Bengals’ Kenny Watson’s three rushing touchdowns and 130 yards on the bench.

Benoit’s Day Care 101.48, I Love Lamp 81.98 – The Day Care is the first team this season to issue the Lamp a loss due to fantasy underachieving by Jon Kitna (WHERE’S YOUR GOD NOW! *clap clap, clap clap clap*) and Roy Williams. Also, Ronnie Brown getting hurt didn’t help matters either.

I Roll W/ Chris Henry 173.38, Brady’s Fuck Trophy 118.68 – Lamp’s loss puts Chris Henry’s entourage in first place, as Larry is going to ride the Tom Brady Express as far as it will take him — and this week it took him to six TD passes in a nearly 45 point discrepancy between QB scoring (the Fuck Trophy put Damon Huard’s 4.88 out there.)  Add in a massive performance by DeMeco Ryans for LB and it means Tom Brady treated his Fuck Trophy appropriately. At this rate, LaDainian Tomlinson is going to lose his Fantasy Jesus status to Brady.

Supreme Silver Sharpie 149.28, Das Smoot 89.94 –  Having LDT on the bye doesn’t help Peter much, as the Sharpie rolls him over. Despite two INTs and losing in real life, Ben Roethlisberger doesn’t let TSW down in fantasy by scoring 30+ points.  Add 20+ from Randy Moss and the Seattle defense, plus good performances from Clinton Portis and Reggie Bush, and the Sharpie gets the second win.

This Week’s Action: The Rainmakers take on the Lamp for second place….will Henry’s entourage keep rolling, this time over the Jazz Fluties?….the Fingercuffs try to get a body on Pennsyltucky as both teams have heavy bye losses this week…Das Smoot tries to get win #2 on the Kennels….the Fuck Trophy will attempt to get over its reaming when it faces Haywood….the Sharpie heads in with the intention of abusing the residents of the Day Care.


4 Responses

  1. Happy to be out of the basement, really upset over the Steelers loss.

  2. “Really, Marco? You pooped in the refrigerator and beat me without Kellen Winslow? That’s impressive. I’m not even mad.”

  3. everyone on my team is on the trading block. i’ll give steven jackson away for a back up kicker.

  4. If I ever have a fantasy team, I’ll be sure to never have “Smoot” in its name.

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