The Shakedown, Week 7.

More fuck-ups, new #2, still recovering from an awful weekend for most Southern California sports teams and the eventual quarantine around the L.A. area after last Saturday due to what EDSBS dubbed Transitive Football Herpes, which has now left both South L.A. and every path on the 134, 101, and 405 between Pasadena and Westwood breaking out.

The Leaders of the Pack:

  1. LSU – No more questions, even though Florida had that game for three-and-a-half quarters.
  2. Cal – Watching others fall around them while on the bye week. I still say they’re probably going to lose somewhere before the conference schedule is done.
  3.  Ohio State – Can OSU really run the table and give us yet another bowl game in which they are devastated by an SEC team? I see this happening and it disappoints me greatly.
  4. South Florida – Despite what the AP and coaches’ polls try to tell you, Boston College has not played a tougher schedule than USF in my eyes, despite making Florida Atlantic look competitive.
  5. Boston College – The ACC counts against you, especially when you are the only legitimate team in a conference in a down cycle. Never mind that your last two games were against Bowling Green and UMass and your next one is against Notre Dame.
  6. South Carolina – Losing to LSU is much more respectable than losing to Colorado, and taking out unbeaten Kentucky helps.
  7. Oklahoma – Making the loss to Colorado look more like a blip is fine, but really, shouldn’t this Sooner team have been able to run it up on a Texas team with issues?
  8. Oregon – Like Cal, got to watch the detritus fall and move up in the process.
  9. West Virginia – More by elimination than anything else, because no matter what Louisville says, beating Syracuse is still a gimme. USC doesn’t deserve to be in anyone’s top 10; Florida can’t be here with two losses; neither Cincinnati nor Arizona State have played enough teams in conference to say they belong in anyone’s top 10; no Big 12 North team can be higher than 10 with the lack of strength in that division.
  10. Missouri – Big 12 North favorites right now. I have no faith in Kansas to keep it up. I don’t care how many times Mangino threatens to eat me.

Be Quiet and Drive (Far Away):

  • USC – The only positive part for the Trojans is that they are facing Arizona, still one of the lower teams in the Pac-10. Problem is, that’s what we were saying about Stanford last week. How does the AP have them at 10 and the Coaches’ Poll at 7? Missouri got jobbed on Carroll’s rep.
  • Wisconsin – The upset so easy to call that Vegas had the Illini at -7 on Saturday. And it can get worse: Wisky’s defense is poor enough to do what Iowa did and make Anthony Morelli look competent again in Happy Valley.
  • Kentucky – Nice while it lasted, guys. Have fun in Baton Rouge.
  • Florida – Welcome to the second tier of the SEC, and a lot of it is because of making the wrong calls on defense. How do you allow five fourth-downs to be converted in one game?

Life in the Fast Lane:

  • Stanford – I see what you did there, Jim Harbaugh. You talked it up so hard, the best team in college football ever, kissed enough ass to make Carroll sick — and then really made him ill.
  • North Carolina –  You wanted to piss away that 27-0 lead so badly early in the third quarter, but your defense would not let you.
  • Cincinnati – Two straight defeats of Rutgers, this one a bit less impressive than last year’s, but nevertheless — hold your heads up and make Louisville eat it.

Baby, You Can Drive My Car:

  • Missouri – We’re suckers for anyone who runs up the score on the Cornhuskers, really.
  • Arizona State – Getting an inconsistent yet talented Washington team at home is the first real test for the Sun Devils.
  • Indiana -They’re playing out of their heads as part of a bad conference. No one believes they can win the conference, but they’re off to a start they’ve not seen for quite a while.

Stuck in the Land of Race Car Ya-Yas:

  • Purdue – Sorry, West Lafayette faithful, we all knew it couldn’t last forever. Now stop the car before we puke on the seats.
  • Tennessee – Phil Fulmer must have stock in a company producing anti-psychotic medications: he’s driving up the demand among the Rocky Toppers with his schizo squad, and despite treating the Dawgs in a manner that Michael Vick would wince at, this squad, when not firing on all cylinders, looks like a prime Crooming candidate.
  • Nebraska – Bill Callahan has problems with handling anything that relates to the defensive side of the ball. If Ball State and Missouri can rack it up on them, then Oklahoma State should be able to.

Dumbass Upset Calls: OK State over Nebraska, Penn State over a reeling Wisconsin, and Missouri beats Oklahoma on the road.  I want to say Tennessee loses to Mississippi State, but I think they’ll carry some momentum into next week.

Photo: AP/Matt Sayles

4 Responses

  1. […] no, no, you’ll ruin it! – Signal To Noise with a typically excellent breakdown of college football’s post-weekend ruins. Bonus points for having USF at #4, where they should be. But come on, guy…let’s just […]

  2. Sadly, I have no faith in my alma mater to keep it up, either. I expect them to lose to Missouri, Nebraska, or Colorado, and possibly all three. But when you root for Kansas, a bowl season is a godsend, so let’s beat Baylor!!!!

  3. That LSU-Kentucky game is in Kentucky….LSU better be on Upset Alert!!!

  4. Kansas ends up as the only 1-loss team from a major conference. So much for not being able to keep it up.

    Yes I know I’m way late on this.

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