The Red Zone: Week 5 Early Games.

First off, I’m apologizing in advance if any posts for the rest of the day are spotty in spelling or grammar, because the Chargers are up 14-0 on the Broncos very early in the first via a Rivers rushing touchdown and a fumbled kickoff returned for a TD. I cannot handle the possibility of being beaten by Norv Turner sober. This should be entertaining if I have to do the Bears-Packers live blog at Awful Announcing tonight blitzed. Oh, Jesus — Brandon Marshall fumbled it and gave it back to the Bolts on the next drive.

Steelers 21, Seahawks 0 – The Steelers had to punt on the first four possessions, but eventually Big Ben got it together with the help of Willie Parker and Najeh Davenport, who entered the end zone twice on the day. Put Pittsburgh back in the AFC elite and consider last week’s loss to Arizona a blip on the radar screen.

Jaguars 17, Chiefs 7 – Complete domination by the Jags in this game: forcing Damon Huard out with a shoulder injury in the fourth and only letting Brodie Croyle throw a TD pass on the last play of the game. Larry Johnson rushed for only 10 yards. David Garrard threw for one TD after Maurice Jones-Drew rushed for another.

Titans 20, Falcons 13 – Three interceptions for Vince Young on the day, but Atlanta could only produce 13 points off those mistakes with three missed field goals and Joey Harrington getting pulled for Byron Leftwich late.

Giants 35, Jets 24 – Aaron Ross (rookie out of Texas) was this week’s defensive star, picking Chad Pennington twice and taking one of them to the house. Brandon Jacobs returned for a 100+ yards and a TD in the game and Eli Manning recovered for a decent second half with two TD throws to Plax and Jeremy Shockey. Leon Washington provided the big Jets highlight with another kickoff return for a TD.

Patriots 34, Browns 17 – At least the Browns covered and Derek Anderson looked semi-competent when he wasn’t getting picked in the end zone.

Texans 22, Dolphins 19 – Trent Green gets knocked right the fuck out trying to block for Ted Ginn on a reverse and does not move for several minutes. Cleo Lemon actually keeps the Dolphins in it until the Texans drive late in the fourth and Kris Brown nails a 57 yard field goal for the win (he hit three of 50+ yards today.)

Redskins 34, Lions 3 – Mike Sellers is a fucking beast. The fullback caught one touchdown pass and rushed for another. Jason Campbell threw for 248 yards and two scores (the other going to Chris Cooley.) Jon Kitna only threw for 106 yards and got picked twice, with one being taken back for six by Carlos Rogers.

Panthers 16, Saints 13 – The Saints are 0-4, losing to a David Carr-led Carolina team on a 53-yard field goal at the end by John Kasay.

Cardinals 34, Rams 31 – And the Rams are 0-5. Gus Frerotte had a respectable day with three touchdown passes, but the fourth touchdown pass he threw happened to go the other way for six via the hands of Arizona’s Rod Hood (the other turnover came on a special teams play, which Arizona took back in for six). Kurt Warner came in once in relief of Matt Leinart and then for good when Leinart suffered a collar bone injury. Warner rushed for a touchdown, threw to Larry Fitzgerald for another. Edge got in the end zone too. Brian Leonard advances the cause of white RBs everyone by rushing for 102 in the losing effort.

Photo: AP/Keith Snakocic

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