Channel 4 News League, Week 4 Recap.

Ah, another week atop the standings. A glorious thing, really:

1. The Rainmakers 4-0-0 1.000 501.42 W-4 1 6
2. I Love Lamp 4-0-0 1.000 443.98 W-4 2 4
3. I Roll w Chris Henry 3-1-0 .750 443.92 W-2 3 5
4. Jazz Fluties 3-1-0 .750 433.12 W-1 6 8
5. Haywood Jablome 3-1-0 .750 423.36 W-1 8
6. Bad Newz Kennels 2-2-0 .500 444.90 L-1 11 2
7. Brady’s F*ck Trophy 2-2-0 .500 437.14 W-1 4 3
8. Pennsyltucky Power! 2-2-0 .500 414.64 L-1 10 18
9. Smoot’s Fingercuffs 1-3-0 .250 386.86 L-1 12 2
10. SupremeSilverSharpie 0-4-0 .000 430.50 L-4 7 1
11. Das Smoot 0-4-0 .000 385.10 L-4 9 3
12. Benoit’s Day Care 0-4-0 .000 367.86 L-4 5 5

The Rainmakers 137.36, Bad Newz Kennels 93.32 – Watching the Broncos lose to the Colts sucks. Knowing it will result in a fantasy win makes it a bit better. Peyton to Dallas Clark made for the majority of my scoring and Marco got completely dicked when Brian Westbrook was out of the Sunday nighter.

I Roll w/ Chris Henry 78.14, Benoit’s Day Care 55.58 – A performance of -2 from Donovan McNabb keeps the Day Care in the News League cellar despite a subpar week from the posse of Chris Henry. Having Tom Brady makes up for sucking everywhere in Larry’s case. I believe the Flyers boys will be cursing the autodraft yet again.

Jazz Fluties 110.70, Pennsyltucky Power! 91.14 – Extra P. puts the wood to RUTS, who got screwed by Rudi Johnson being a scratch for the Monday nighter. A 22-point day for KC WR Dwayne Bowe in the Fluties’ flex spot ensures the victory.

Haywood Jablome 100.06, Supreme Silver Sharpie 94.74 – TSW gets victimized by the bye week with both Clinton Portis and the underperforming Reggie Bush off — no one can win with an RB tandem of Najeh Davenport and Adrian “Not Purple Jesus” Peterson of the Bears. Ted is riding Tony Romo to continued victory, winning as T.O. underperformed, Kevin Curtis fell back to earth, and Isaac Bruce continued to get old.

Brady’s Fuck Trophy 125.40, Das Smoot 102.54 – Injuries and a bye to Chris Cooley left Peter decimated and without a tight end. The only victory he can take out of this is that at least LDT is performing in the 20+ point range again. Denver’s defense screwed him by getting negative points. OMDQ rode old reliable Favre and Purple Jesus for the win.

I Love Lamp 83.38, Smoot’s Fingercuffs 71.32 –  AA remains unbeaten thanks to Zach’s non-benching of the inactive Calvin Johnson and another 20+ point performance from Miami RB Ronnie Brown.

This Week’s Matchups: LB and his Henry fans will be trying to hand me my first loss, while 0-4 Das Smoot tries to do the same to the Lamp.  The Kennels and Pennsyltucky will be battling to stay on the good side of the .500 divide, while the Sharpie stands its best chance of getting its first win over a 1-3 Fingercuffs team.  Fluties will try to improvise on the 2-2 Fuck Trophy, while the Day Care has to take a shot at win #1 against Haywood (a tough task.)


4 Responses


    I just cannot catch a break! 430 total points, and I still cannot get a win.

  2. Fun Fact: LaDanian Tomlinson has scored .18 points more than Matt Schaub this year.

    If Tomlinson is Fantasy Jesus, Schaub must be Fantasy Moses or something.

  3. Dicked over is right…..combine that with starting Andre Johnson…I’m retarded

  4. this losing shit is getting old.

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