Ah, So We Have An Excuse For Your Sucking, Scott.

Either this provides more proof for the “steroids don’t do shit if you ain’t got talent” theory or just makes me wish that Scott Schoeneweis was actually juicing last year. Maybe he’d have gotten a non-lefthanded hitter out for once and gotten through an inning out of the bullpen.

The Mets reliever is the latest name to follow Rick Ankiel and Troy Glaus into the Signature Pharmacy steroid mess, apparently receiving them in 2003 and 2004 while he was with the Chicago White Sox:

According to a source in Florida close to the ongoing investigation of Signature, Schoeneweis’ name appears on packages that were sent to Comiskey Park while the White Sox were battling to win the AL Central title in 2003. Two more shipments arrived at the stadium in 2004, months before Schoeneweis underwent arthroscopic surgery on his left elbow.

How goddamn dumb must you be to have them sent to the stadium you pitch in, under your name?  Dan Jenkins referred to baseball players as “the dumbest and lowest-rent collection of athletes I had ever encountered” in You Gotta Play Hurt, and this only adds fuel to that fire in my eyes.

The source who reviewed the invoices said that Schoeneweis spent $1,160 on the steroids. The packages he received on May 23 and June 25, 2003, contained 10 milliliter bottles of both testosterone and stanozolol. The package sent on Sept. 3 had double the dose of stanozolol — the same drug that caused Rafael Palmiero to be suspended for 10 games in 2005 after it showed up in his urine. The last three shipments — on Nov. 18, 2003, and April 15 and June 24, 2004 — contained one 10 ml bottle of testosterone.

Gary Wadler, a physician and member of the World Anti-Doping Agency, said that while it might make sense for someone with hormone deficiencies to take testosterone, he had never heard of anyone taking stanozolol to help with the affliction.

“It’s not an approved use, as far as I’m aware of,” he said.

Wadler’s assessment is necessary due to a clause placed beforehand that references Schoeneweis’ battle with testicular cancer in the early-90s as a sophomore at Duke (which will likely be used as the convenient excuse to push it away, make it less serious — just you watch. The reliever is in the middle of a three-year contract worth more than $10 million, but after the Guillermo Mota flap (and his lousy pitching post-roiding), there’s no reason for Omar Minaya to try leniency here.


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