Channel 4 News League Recap, Week 3.

We’re still doing this the weird way because I just realized I don’t have MS Paint on this computer, somehow.

1. The Rainmakers 3-0-0 1.000 364.06 W-3 1 2
2. I Love Lamp 3-0-0 1.000 360.60 W-3 2 1
3. I Roll w Chris Henry 2-1-0 .667 365.78 W-1 3 2
4. Bad Newz Kennels 2-1-0 .667 351.58 W-2 5 1
5. Pennsyltucky Power! 2-1-0 .667 323.50 W-2 12 10
6. Haywood Jablome 2-1-0 .667 323.30 L-1 9
7. Jazz Fluties 2-1-0 .667 322.42 L-1 7 8
8. Smoot’s Fingercuffs 1-2-0 .333 315.54 W-1 10
9. Brady’s F*ck Trophy 1-2-0 .333 311.66 L-2 4 1
10. SupremeSilverSharpie 0-3-0 .000 335.76 L-3 8 1
11. Benoit’s Day Care 0-3-0 .000 312.28 L-3 6 3
12. Das Smoot 0-3-0 .000 282.56 L-3 11 2

The Rainmakers over Jazz Fluties, 107-87.83: Steve Smith may have gotten into DeAngelo Hall’s head, but as far as points go, he shat the bed and screwed Extra P. out of at least a shot; Torry Holt’s underachieving due to being on the Rams didn’t help him either. I basically hopped on Marion Barber III for a 3-0 record.

I Roll w/ Chris Henry over Supreme Silver Sharpie, 159.20-129.90 – Despite getting a bang-up week out of DeShaun Foster in the flex slot and another big one out of Randy Moss, TSW got completely devastated as Tom Brady and Anquan Boldin helped Larry run up the score.

Pennsyltucky Power! over Brady’s Fuck Trophy, 112.98-88.94: OMDQ keeps getting victimized by Marc Bulger’s awful offensive line protection in St. Louis, and the worst part of it is that he wins a co-share of this week’s Bad Benching award for leaving a 32 point performance by Brett Favre on the pine.

I Love Lamp over Haywood Jablome, 146.94-89.36: Largest margin of ass-whooping of the week, and Ted gets the other share of the Bad Benching award with Kevin Curtis’ 40+ points on his bench as Isaac Bruce and Marvin Harrison both scored in single digits. AA got his win with the help of 40+ from Miami RB Ronnie Brown while continuing to somehow ride the arm of Jon Kitna and the hands of Roy Williams.

Bad Newz Kennels over Benoit’s Day Care, 109.48-103.46: The Flyers Fieldhouse falls to 0-3 after basically trading off massive points with the Kennels in the Eagles-Lions game (Day Care had McNabb, Kennels had Westbrook.) Closest match of the week, and the flex position let the Day Care manager down with only five points from RB Chris Brown.

Smoot’s Fingercuffs over Das Smoot, 116.92-103.20 – In this battle of 0-2 teams, the Fingercuffs take it due to Drew Brees’ continued suck fest. What sucks for Peter is that he got a slightly better performance out of LDT and a top day out of LaMont Jordan, but falls to the 0-3 ranks. Leaving Marshawn Lynch’s 14 on the bench didn’t help.

Week 4 Previews: The Fingercuffs will try to knock off the undefeated Lampers, as the Kennels will try and do the same with the Rainmakers…Das Smoot will try to go for win #1 over a reeling Fuck Trophy team, Chris Henry’s posse will need to hang one up on the Day Care and hope for losses to the undefeated teams in order for its league-high point total to have first place standing…the Sharpie needs to put up a win this week on Haywood with the talent on the roster, and the Jazz Fluties take on the Pennsyltucky boys in a match of 2-1 teams.

5 Responses

  1. I just dropped Mike Bell from my roster, and I thought back to that time I picked him and you cursed me for taking the guy you wanted… ah, we were so naive then…

  2. FUCK TOM BRADY RIGHT IN THE EAR.

    Also, my poor 0-3 start means I am getting all my tough match ups out of the way early. Despite my total, five teams are ahead of me for the season.

    4. Bad Newz Kennels 2-1-0 .667 351.58
    5. Pennsyltucky Power! 2-1-0 .667 323.50
    6. Haywood Jablome 2-1-0 .667 323.30
    7. Jazz Fluties 2-1-0 .667 322.42
    8. Smoot’s Fingercuffs 1-2-0 .333 315.54
    9. Brady’s F*ck Trophy 1-2-0 .333 311.66
    10. SupremeSilverSharpie 0-3-0 .000 335.76

  3. Extra P. – at the time I didn’t know Shanny would move him to fullback.

    TSW – apropos of nothing really. I just like it when people use the phrase “fuck him/her right in the ear.” I really do. It’s my favorite.

  4. I hate to say it, but if you did fuck Tom Brady in the ear, it would probably be the best sex of your life. He’s a golden god, you know. Oh, and you’d get pregnant.

  5. You must have missed my FF post on Ladies today. That image is far, far, far sexier than Dreamboat Brady.

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