Stealing Signals: Baseball, Stop Making Me Care So Much!

These results are less than funny to me as of late. If you’d like something funny, try this bit from Babes Love Baseball on why baseball is better than men. Now, to the gut-churning sickness…

Nationals 9, Mets 8 – Boy, oh boy. Guess the ani-pal pep talk didn’t work at all. John Maine coughed up 4-0 and 7-3 leads, giving up the big blast to afro-ed fatty Ronnie Fucking Belliard.  Ruben Gotay did not respond well to being struck out by Chad Cordero to end the game. Now, the lead is only 1.5 games…

Phillies 7, Cardinals 4 – …because Rod Barajas, singling in Chase Utley and then following it up with Jayson Werth smacking a triiple for a bigger margin in extra innings, as the Phillies crawl to 1.5 games back of the boys from Queens

Blue Jays 4, Red Sox 3 – Boston is feeling the Mets’ pain right now, cause they’re going through the exact same ish up in Toronto. Eric Gagne has continued to be the complete opposite of clutch, giving up three runs in the eighth (and likely giving OMDQ the pre-cursors to a heart attack.)

Yankees 12, Orioles 0 – And the Sawx are feeling that pain because the Yankees are now only 2.5 games behind them after treating Baltimore like the red-headed stepchild it is in the baseball world. If an over-the-hill Mike Mussina is shutting you down over seven innings and Doug Mientkiewicz is hitting three-run jacks off you, kill yourself already.

Reds 5, Cubs 2 – The NL Central is just as nasty, as the Reds want to play spoiler. Sending Carlos Zambrano out on three days rest against Aaron Harang turned out to be a mistake, as Edwin Encarnacion homered and had three hits total.

Brewers 9, Astros 1 – And that’s a problem, as the Brewers own first place by percentage points again by taking care of their cupcake competitors. Johnny Estrada hits his second grand slam of the season and Claudio Vargas gets the win after Ben Sheets’ injury troubles come rearing their ugly heads again.

Angels 2, Devil Rays 1 – The Halos can have the AL West wrapped up soon, with John Lackey smacking down the boys from Tampa with another top-notch pitching performance when they needed one badly.

Indians 7, Tigers 4 – Cleveland tees off on Justin Verlander for four home runs, one each by Travis Hafner, Victor Martinez, Franklin Gutierrez, and Ryan Garko.

Rockies 3, Dodgers 1; Rockies 9, Dodgers 8 – Todd Helton’s 301st career homer not only is a walk-off, not only ensured a doubleheader sweep, it also just put a bullet in the Dodgers’ playoffs hopes.

Padres 5, Pirates 3 – Greg Maddux gives up his first walk in 10 starts, but still gets through five innings of work to get his sixth win in seven decisions, keeping San Diego 1.5 ahead of Philly in the wild card race.

Diamondbacks 5, Giants 0 – Padres are still a game behind Arizona, though, as Micah Owings hurls his first complete game shut-out with only two hits surrendered.

Photo: AP/Pablo Martinez Monsivais


3 Responses

  1. If you want a good laugh, check out the magic number icon at It used to be just Mr. Met holding an “11” sign. Now…

  2. I want a restraining order filed against that damn Phanatic.

  3. Hey… it could be worse. You could be a Cardinals fan, like I am. They need to go 11-1 the rest of the way just to finish at .500. The really sad thing about this whole debacle? Ownership actually thinks that La Russa and Jocketty will be back next year…

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