California 45, Tennessee 31 – Vengeance is best served via a kick-ass punt return for six by DeSean Jackson (whom Jeff Tedford clearly hearts very, very much), along with two TD passes and 241 yards from Nate Longshore. Justin Forsett stepped in nicely to replace Marshawn Lynch with 158 and a six. Cal’s defense (what there was of it) eventually managed to put some stops on Erik Ainge, who outperformed Longshore in both yardage and TD passes.
Colorado 31, Colorado State 28 – At least the Buffs managed to score the Rocky Mountain Classic this year in OT. The rest of the season may be ugly in a way that no Dan Hawkins pep talk will be able to turn around.
Now to the rest of a Saturday mostly filled with cupcakes…
Virginia Tech 17, East Carolina 7 – Early on in this game, you wouldn’t have been wrong to think that this would have been the upset of the day, as ECU was outplaying the Hokies early until an interception return by Va Tech got the lead and a fourth quarter touchdown sealed the win.
Georgia Tech 33, Notre Dame 3 – Cue Nelson Muntz “HA ha!” in Touchdown Jesus’ direction. The great state secret of whom would lead the Domers’ offense was revealed to be Demetrius Jones, and by halftime, Jabba the Weis looked like he was going to eat Jones at halftime as a statement. Whether the QB be Jones, Evan Sharpley, or Jimmy Clausen, it looked rudderless — the team had 8 rushing yards.
Hawaii 63, Northern Colorado 6 – Notable solely for Colt Brennan’s 416 yards and six TD passes all in the first half.
USC 38, Idaho 10 – USC’s offense isn’t quite firing on all cylinders yet. Miscues, timing issues, etc. — these all need to be worked out fairly soon.
UCLA 45, Stanford 17 – There’s a semi-respectable offense there at Stanford, but it happens to be overshadowed by everyone else in the Pac-10 and the Cardinal can’t play defense yet, if giving up five passing TDs to the Bruins’ Ben Olson is any indication.
Texas 21, Arkansas State 13 – I’m gonna pencil Texas in for a three-loss season minimum if they keep playing like that. All of their points came in the first quarter.
Oklahoma 79, North Texas 10 – And I’m already kind of leaning to giving the Big 12 to Stoops yet again (asshole). DeMarco Murray becomes the first Sooner to score five touchdowns in his first game.
Missouri 40, Illinois 34 – Should the Zooker be playing Eric McGee rather than Juice Williams? A question worth asking, as McGee helped get the Illini to within three of the Tigers, but then managed to lose anyway. It’ll be a long season in Champaign-Urbana.
Alabama 52, Western Carolina 6 – The lovefest between Tuscaloosa and Nick Saban continues, for now, and I am left wondering why there are Western and Eastern Carolina schools.
Auburn 23, Kansas State 13 – SEC teams ought to be beating up on the Big 12’s dregs more convincingly than this.
Georgia 35, Oklahoma State 14 – Note to Auburn: this is how you beat up on a Big 12 team.
Photo: AP/Marcio Jose Sanchez