Inspired slightly by the Ladies…’ recent establishment of the Friday Foodie and a bit more by a KSK drinking and drugging guide done prior to last season, yours truly brings you my personal recommendations for Saturday and Sunday morning consumption. Your mileage may vary, considering that I am a West Coaster, and the games start at 9 and 11 AM, respectively. Early starts are required for good pacing, especially during a day of college football. Those of you who are still single do want to be sober enough to go out later, right? We’ll hold BDD’s rules that you start with light beer for the early game and move on to regular stuff for the late games.
The Po’Mosa – as noted in the above KSK post linked to, mimosas are not something you should be drinking during football games. The money spent on decent champagne could be spent on several cases of beer. If you must have orange juice with something fizzy, do use this variant I was exposed to by a local bartender while working the graveyard shift and drinking at 8 A.M. Simply replace the bubbly with your favorite cheap piss water-level beer. I prefer Colorado Kool-Aid. If you use either Tecate or Corona, it is now a Tijuana Sunrise. This is my football standby.
Bloody Mary – More traditional and perfectly tasty at 10 AM, especially if you’re like me and love vodka as a close second to whiskey. Please add lime, olive, half the bottle of Tabasco and pepper while you’re at it, and if I can’t see through it, it doesn’t do jack shit. Make sure to actually eat while consuming these — I fix eggs and bacon or walk down the block for a huge breakfast burrito. Vodka at early hours is for professionals, so start building yourself up now by preparing one during exhibition games and working your way forward. Celery stick is optional.
Whiskey, Scotch, and Bourbon – Yes, yes, yes, and double that with cola.
Gin, Vodka, and Wine – There’s something violently wrong about drinking either of the first two straight, in martini form, hell, even in tonic form during a football game (Marys don’t count; that goes fine with breakfast). I can’t exactly put my finger on why. I drink wine, but never during football games (unless it is the boxed variety and we’re passing the box around).
Mixed Drinks – Keep it simple. If you need more than two bottles of liquor to make it, don’t, OK?
Give me something I should try with this year’s games in comments.