Bring “Dream Job” Back, Bristol.

I’m not quite sure whom that is with Stu Scott up there — I think dude’s name was Mike Hill or something, but he won that reality show Dream Job that ESPN ran for a couple of seasons a few years back, and frankly, it needs to return right now, not because it was the most enjoyable of show or because the wanna-bes on it were highly compelling once they left the Box in Bristol (question for you: where is Zach Selwyn now?)  Here’s why: there was one season where the competition was between former NBA ballers for an analyst gig on the Association, and former Celtic Dee Brown won (and I think he’s still throwing down on Fastbreak from time to time.) He had to go through the grilling process with Al Jaffe (some exec with ESPN), Kit Hoover, and either Woody Paige or Tony Kornheiser on this show — and it was public evidence of how on your game you needed to be in order to do the analyst job.

That’s kinda slipping. Eduardo Perez is proof of this. He’s completely falling down on this World Series analysis, mispronouncing names, getting tongue twisted, and other things that scream lack of smoothness with the gig.

After watching him bungle so much of the World Series highlights and having observed Emmitt Smith and Keyshawn Johnson on NFL Countdown a couple of times (I try to limit my exposure; Chris Berman is harmful to your health in two-hour doses), I’m convinced the Lazy Eye and a motley judging crew need to be put together for every analyst position that opens up there, and it needs to be broadcast again, so we can make sure stupidity like Perez and the lack of prep that Emmitt and Keyshawn do aren’t allowed to go without a public vote.

C’mon, ESPN. You can get ratings by giving the fans another stake in which athlete should get the analyst position when someone leaves to coach. Dusty Baker’s got a managing gig next season — start this right now with your list of replacements for “old codgy managerial type.” Get Jim Tracy, Joe Girardi (if the Yanks don’t hire him), maybe Sam Perlozzo and a couple others in a room, and make the process very public.

Because clearly, y’all can’t be trusted with your own hiring decisions this year. Perez and Fernando Vina have contributed to make Baseball Tonight unwatchable (along with John Kruk’s hair), Emmitt’s always making the worst of on-air errors, and Keyshawn just conducted that shitty interview with Chad Johnson.

And if you want, you can even get Erin Andrews to help judge, draw some extra eyeballs. I won’t complain.

7 Responses

  1. Agreed. That was a great show, and I think that ESPN needs a few more people living in the real world – in comparison to former players, coaches, and veteran sportswriters who are not, let’s face it, always living on the same planet as the rest of us.

  2. While we’re at it, i want Playmakers and Tilt to have 2nd seasons! No, really!

  3. We must burn this network down to save it, clearly.

  4. There’s only so much saving that can be done.

  5. hoover looked incredibly bang-able on Dream Job. You know Lavar Arrington totally did her backstage.

    oh yeah, some of the contestants were OK too.

  6. The problem is, there is a need for so many analysts(or they tell us there is), that it’s become watered down, just like all professional sports. Eventually, you have to call up someone who’s not quite ready for the bigs, because that’s all that’s left. Just because you were an All-Star at one level doesn’t mean you’ll be one at the next(yeah, I’m looking at you Emmitt).

  7. […] wrote an interesting post today on Bring âDream Jobâ Back, Bristol.Here’s a quick […]

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