Having To Face The One You Love: A Quick Scene.

Scene: The visitors clubhouse at the Rogers Centre (fancy Queen’s English), as one particular Yankee third baseman comes in the ballpark much, much earlier before game time than usual, in order to clear his head and get ready, as the team continues to flirt with last place. When coming in from the players’ entrance, he notices beer and other bottles strewn and smashed around the locker room.

A-Rod: Jesus, this place is a mess. Did the Blue Jays just decide not to have the janitors come in and clean last night? (Walks to his locker, while someone approaches out of the shadows.)
Voice (slurring slightly): YOU DIRTY FUCKWAD. How could you do this to me?
A-Rod: What are you talking about?

(Derek Jeter emerges from the dark shadows, reeking of beer and holding a broken bat and a copy of the NY Post — in Toronto? Oh well.)

A-Rod: Jesus, you reek. Have you been drinking? What’s bugging you, man?
Jeter: This! (Holds up paper, visibly enraged.) Did you even think of me for one second when you left the club with her? You ditched me for THAT?
A-Rod (searches furiously for words): Jeet, Jeet….nothing, uh, really happened, I swear. She was just, um, y’know, interested in some workout tips after dinner and the club with the guys. Yeah, workout tips!
Jeter: It figures. She has better and bigger biceps than you do! You might as well have found another man!
A-Rod: You don’t mean that.
Jeter: Oh, you bet I do.
A-Rod (standing): Well, what was I supposed to do, while you go around gallivanting with the likes of every other twenty-something starlet that goes running around in your bed after you throw me out of your life? You and Jessica, you with Mariah, you potentially with Scarlett, the actress of the week, god, where was it going to end? All the rumors I had to go through!
Jeter: I told you those skanks meant nothing to me, Alex. You had to go and wreck it by saying we weren’t as close as we used to be. You had to go gripe in public.
A-Rod: Look, you wouldn’t acknowledge me. I had to say something, and look at the start I got off to. Then, I got cold, and the same shit came up again. I needed to do something. I needed to feel free again.
Jeter: You can bullshit all you want, it’s not going to help you.

(Manager Joe Torre walks into the locker room, observes the mess.)

Torre: Christ, I knew this whole season had been tough on the guys, but this is ridiculous. What the hell’s going on here?
Jeter: This, Coach. (Shows Torre copy of the Post.)
Torre: God, not another excuse for you to boot balls in the infield today, Derek.
Jeter: I’m going to fucking boot HIS balls.
A-Rod: Please. You couldn’t even try, buster.

(Jeter socks A-Rod in the jaw, and the fight begins, quickly devolving into awkward wrestling.)

Torre (shaking head): Maybe being fired won’t be quite so bad. Would you two clean up when you’re done, please?

END